Can you recall a sentence from someone that spoke to you a long time ago?

I don't have a super good memory where I remember everything from the past. In fact, I'm well known to have a short memory, especially things from the past. 

I clearly remember an incident that happened when I was around 14 years old. Mom was having a fit and she said something that pierced through my heart and the wound never healed. It's been over 30 years, yet I still remember it vividly.

It doesn't matter how much time has passed, words spoken in anger, in pain, or even in love, will always have an impact. Words are like seeds, once planted, they will grow and blossom.

So today, I want to talk about words. Words that hurt, and words that heal. Because sometimes, all it takes is a few kind words to change everything.

Words That Hurt

Let's start with the words that hurt. These are the words that cut us to the core, that make us question ourselves and our worthiness. They are the words that bring us down, and make us feel like we can't do anything right.

These are the words of criticism and judgment. They are designed to tear us down so that we will build ourselves back up again according to someone else's standards. They are meant to control us, to make us bend to someone else's will. And they always come from a place of fear - fear of not being good enough, fear of being rejected or cast out.

These are the words of bullies and abusers, of those who seek to control and dominate others. They are designed to break us down so that we will be more compliant and easier to control. If you find yourself on the receiving end of these kinds of words, it's important to remember that they are not your truth - they are only someone else's opinion of you, and they don't have any power over you unless you give them power.

Words That Heal

Now let's talk about the opposite - words that heal. These are the words that remind us of our goodness, of our worthiness as human beings. They remind us that we are loved and that we belong in this world just as we are - imperfections and all.

These are the words of encouragement and acceptance. They seek to build us up rather than tear us down. They come from a place of love rather than fear - love for ourselves and for others just as we are. 

These are the words of healing and hope - they remind us that no matter what has happened in our past or what might happen in our future, we are safe here in the present moment just as we are. If you find yourself on the receiving end of these kinds of words, cherish them - they are rare and precious treasures indeed." 

How We React

I can?t speak on behalf of the rest of the world but I tend to remember the hurtful words more than the positive ones.  I think it?s because the hurtful words were said during intense emotions and they cut deep. The positive words might have been said during calm moments and they just don?t stick as much.

When you?re on the receiving end of hurtful words, it?s important to remember that they are not your truth - they are only someone else?s opinion of you or they don't even mean what they said during that moment of anger. Words spoken in anger or pain are usually a projection of that person?s inner turmoil. It has nothing to do with you.

It took me over 44 years of life experience to learn how to categorize people who make judgments, criticize or are straight-up bullies or abusers. When you know the difference between them, it will be much easier to handle the situation. How we think afterward will determine whether the words said leave lasting, hurtful impressions or if they are something that can be forgiven and forgotten.

To those people that leave words that heal, I would like to say thank you. Your words matter and they make a difference, even if we don?t always remember them as much. But you make my life much more bearable when I'm in pain.

So today I want to leave you with this thought: be mindful of your words, both the ones you speak and the ones you listen to. Words have power - they can either hurt or heal depending on how they're used. So choose your words wisely - both for yourself and for others.

Be kind to each other and we will live in a better world.